Friday, January 8, 2010

BCS Elections

With the recent success of the Bowl Championship Series crowning their champion last night. The US government has decided to follow their example and award the office of President in the same fashion. Here is how the new BCS elections for President will work:

1. Only the top 6 states in the union can provide someone to be President. Sure there may be many talented and smart people from the other 44 states. But surely they cannot be better than anyone from the top 6 states. So there is no need to allow them a chance to run for President.

2. Only 2 people can truly be considered for the office of President. No more needing primary elections to narrow the field down to a candidate from each party. Just 2 and no more.

3. We will use polls that consist only of people who want to be president, former presidents, congress members, election judges, political commentators, reporters and any surviving signers of the Declaration of Independence to find the two candidates. Even though some of these people could receive a direct benefit from the outcome of the election. We feel sure that they will continue to provide unbias votes.

4. We will use computers as 1/3 of the deciding vote to narrow the canidates down to two. We will not require these computers to give us details of what creiteria is used to rank the canidates from the top 6 states.

5. Once the 2 candidates have been selected. We will only provide them access to public funds, air time on all media outlets & participation in debates.

6. People who wanted to run for President but could not because they were not in one of the top 6 states or were not voted 1 or 2 by the polls or computer rankings can still feel good. Because they are still Americans and that should be good enough and there is no need to feel bad about not being able to be President.

7. If anyone feels that this is unfair and want to petition congress, the justice department or the the courts for a redress of their grievances. They should realize that these departments have more important things to do than help provide justice or fairness on this issue. Justice and fairness is only given on important issues and this is not considered to be important enough to spend any time on.

With this new BCS election, everyone can feel good about the Presidential selection process, especially on how it will prevent anyone from some of those small states from even having a chance to be president. Besides, they can still compete to become the Speaker of the House or Senate majority leader. That should be enough for them, right?